Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
