I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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