Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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