I don't remember. Are we still dating?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
