Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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