I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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