There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
