I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
