Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Randomize
