i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
