went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
