So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
