i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
