I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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