I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
