I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Your topless pictures make me question reality
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
