It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize