Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
