Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize