Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
