He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
