she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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