so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize