I hate your face
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
