I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
