I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I smell stomach acid.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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