your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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