I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
