the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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