I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
