Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
hell yes lets make some ravioli
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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