So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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