Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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