I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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