i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
