If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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