girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You're a waste of cheezeits
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
