look no pants
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You were trust falling into bushes
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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