yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
