Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
