I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
