How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
