I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
