I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
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