I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
