Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
