Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you will always have a special place in my vag
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I need to sanitize my soul.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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