well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
worst night to have a conscience
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Enjoy the penises
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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