remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
