Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
