Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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