whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
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