hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
