He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
