Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
