Fine. I'll sleep in my office
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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