I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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