I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
