Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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