We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
