We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
