i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
