I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
