what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
