like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
