So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
