I swear she didn't look like that last week.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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